I read a book last night that's been sitting in our closet for a solid year or two. God had me buy it way back then, for right now. It's called "Youth Ministry Survival Guide." To be honest, I'm so beaten down and honestly they talk about how that happens. When you sign up you have fervor, energy and excitement. After about 4-6 months reality sets in and then by 9 months most will either make the choice to leave or stay. It's clear that I follow the "Leave" pattern. There are 9 months is one single school year and when I started at Gateway church I volunteered for the Youth Ministry and was there for one school year and then couldn't take reality anymore. God saved me and gave me a new role at Gateway and gave me passion for it. He grew my heart and knowledge for just under a year while serving in the new role and then brought me back to my first love... Youth Ministry. However, here I sit at the end of another year and I'm feeling drained and empty. Enter in "Youth Ministry Survival Guide." It's a great book geared towards Youth Pastors (read: Staff), but I find much needed truth in it for me... balm for my aching soul.
The book covers several reality's that hit youth leaders and throw them off track around 4-6 months in. The one that hit me was when it mentioned, "It can be a real blow when we realize just how totally seduced by the world many of our kids are. We may find it hard to love kids who live below what we expect for them, but if we don't love our kids, we'll quickly find an excuse to leave." I think the bigger loss is that these kids need to be loved to spite their take on the world and life. If we only love the easy to love, then are we actually loving as Christ did? Plus, I remember being in Middle School, I don't remember learning anything deep about my faith. I now wonder if that was from a lack of leadership or from my lack of true ability to grasp the serious nature of what my leaders were trying to teach me. Probably the latter. I clearly now have more respect for the church I grew up in and the leaders that were there to help me grow. We have to push through expecting our youth to want the same deep relationship with Christ that we currently know and cherish. We need to love them and let them see our passion for Christ, and hope that one day they will also look back and say "it wasn't for my leaders lack of trying, but I see their passion now, and I want some of that... and I want to give that back to someone else like they did for me."
That was just one of the reality's that hit us as leaders. Other things like not having a youth pastor for a year, then not getting a the youth pastor you wanted in a hiring process, or not having kids who want to dig deep, not having enough volunteers, or if you are a youth pastor, not having the support you need from staff. The list goes on, but the book suggests to counter those realities from smashing our hearts to pieces, we need to have persistence. The book says, "Having our ideals crushed by reality is never fun. Youth workers who survive the shattering of early ideals do so because they truly love young people. They deeply feel a call from God to be in the Youth Ministry and they have a support network."
The key they mentioned was God truly calling them to this ministry. I can see the youth leaders at Gateway, they have been there for 2 or more years and have weathered some pretty serious storms together. They all feel that calling on their lives and despite my past track record of only staying in Youth Ministry for one year at a time, I know God has called me here as well. The other thing the book mentioned in the quote above is that they have a support network. That is equally as important as being called, if not more so. If you are called, but you go from hot to cold, then you are little use to our Father. However, if we have a support network then we can remain hot and continue, long term, in the work he has set before us. For example, we may go 4-6 months with this new Pastor we are about to potentially get and then realize that he is just human, he is different than we hoped for and he isn't bringing the changes we have longed for in our ministry. We may go 4-6 months and reality might slap us in the face that this isn't going to magically solve all our issues. That is the cycle I mentioned earlier. The 4-6 months when reality sets in and our ideal image of how it could have been is challenged. I feel the only way through that reality check, or any reality check that we face while in ministry, is community. Something grounding us to the ministry and holding us accountable to the calling we all feel. Without that community within the ministry, it becomes easy to isolate and it becomes too easy to check out or find somewhere else to serve. Without that community, you not only find it easy to isolate, but you find yourself thinking you are alone in the struggle. Interestingly enough, I have a small group and 2 running partners (gateway lingo for relationships where people hold you accountable and challenge you). God is filling me up, but I need to be connected inside the Youth Ministry at Gateway, or I will run dry for the calling God has placed on my heart.
SO... I am starting a blog. A blog to encourage me in my endeavors with Christ and to encourage those in our ministry so we can all go the distance together.
